The gravel crackles under the cars half flat tires while we pull up to the batch of dreams. As soon as the car comes to a stop I swing open the door and jump out with joy. My dreams have all built up to this moment and I have made it at last. Scanning my eyes deeply into the distance to find the waves crashing while I inhale and get a big whiff of the sea salt spread throughout the air. I was a rocket, zooming to get to the beach, running over shells like clouds to reach my destination. As the water hits my legs I stumble back from the sufficient force provided from the waves. I see so many opportunities for me. Looking along the beach my eyes catch massive rocks, the biggest in the world. they whisper to me, “we want you”. I instantly feel the urge to discover what lives beneath them. My hands hook on the highest point of the rocks as a small hermit crab crawls along my arm. My skin tingles and lift myself upon the huge rocks. I stare wildly at the sea while I stand on my wooden leg and stare with my one eye. Seagulls hover over me hoping to find a meal along the rocks. I keep trying my hardest to lift the biggest rubble hoping for crabs to scramble out and run off the cliff. The tide recedes to give me the chance to catch wildlife among the seabed. My sights spotlight a cluster of crabs and pipi’s in the distance. I rush to catch enough to fill my stomach for the night ahead. As I arrive at the batch, the air is surrounded by crackling fires and motorbike roars. I ask my father to smoke my pipi’s on the barbecue. As the night comes alive, so does the old rock music. Dad and I climb on the motorbikes and shred the sand down on the beach until the clock ticks eight o’clock. Mum takes me inside to snuggle me into my massive single bed and she waves goodbye. I close my eyes and think about the day ahead.

RRRRRRIINGGG!!!!! I wake up in an instant. A strong smell of the 4:30 air braces me for anything that comes at me. I slide out of my bed like a snake and I slip on my overalls. Dad and I dip our feet into the freezing water hoping to catch the squirmy little flounder. Our spears glisten in the moonlight while we search. Spears start to fly as we see a flounder trying to escape its death. In that instant, its life was taken for our hunger. My dad lifts up his spear to see a small flounder. We head back to shore to get changed. I am ecstatic! My first flounder. I run inside and jump on mum to tell her my news. She whips out the stubby canon camera to take the shot that brings so many memories with it.

Our car arrives up to the batch and all that flows through my mind is regret about my decision. I had the opportunity to stay home but this is what I get, a run down batch in the middle of nowhere.The car stops. Stumbling out of the car I get knocked backwards by the stench of the sea water filling my airways and flowing through my body. I look at the batch and instantly feel claustrophobic from the walls caving in from every angle. I drive myself to get organised and make the most of my time here. I finish up the final touches and grab a pair of binoculars sitting on the table. I look afar to see the waves in the distance but I struggle to find any developing. I lie on my bed for hours on end until my phone’s battery dies. My mind is put to a stand still looking at a black screen. I was forced to go outside explore the wildlife surrounding this small town on the bottom coast of the South Island. I hike through the bush that lasts for 30 seconds, to reach the beach. My feet slide into the water and within seconds pain grew in my left big toe. I instantly scramble out of the water to see a crab holding on to my toe for dear life. I then decided to walk to the batch and clean up my toe. I was staring up at the sky seeing the grey clouds brew when my foot sliced open from a stray shell. I stumble into the batch to grab bandages for my wounds. I wheel my chair to my bed and see my phone still only contains a black screen and I have nothing to do. I hear rain slash on the roof and chatter the corrugated iron. I slide out ‘Monopoly’ and start playing by myself to fill in time. As the clock ticks, hour by hour it suddenly strikes 10 and I’m ready to doze. Dropping myself into my bed to find that I’m wide awake. I try to relax and close my eyes and drift into a deep sleep forgetting the day I had and ready for the day ahead…


Dad storms in with two frypans smashing them together making my ears bleed.

“Dad it’s 4:30, get out!” I strongly stated.

“No mate, we’re going for flounder,” Dad said. I groan and slowly push myself to wake up. I put the overalls on while I frown and groan knowing how dreadful this would be. I walk down to the beach. My toes drop in the water and I am struck with frostbite immediately. Dad drags me towards the water and hands me a spear with no decals and a blunt blade. It’s like he doesn’t want me to be happy for the day. I shoot and miss 3 times and I made my decision to go back to the batch and then bed. I hop into bed and realise there was no service to explore social media so I look through games on my phone. This wasn’t what I was expecting our holiday to be.

Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. Reilly, you need to look at making your work flow together seamlessly. You have a lot of simple sentences in here and it makes the writing feel staggered at times- is this deliberate? If not, how can you make the structure of your sentences reflect the tone and mood of the “Then” and the “Now”.

  2. Vary your vocabulary (think about word connotations) and blend some of your sentences in together for more flow- short sentences are effective but it needs to be a mixture of your longer, complex sentences and your simple ones.


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